HR department demands woman lead morale-boosting company "culture initiative", protests when she refuses: 'Someone said I have good vibes because I bring muffins sometimes'

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  • a woman leans against a desk and stands in front of a board with papers pinned to it, holding a pair of glasses
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  • AITJ for refusing to run all the office "morale" stuff after HR put my name on a sign up sheet without asking?

    I was hired as a data analyst last fall, small tech company, hybrid. My plate is full, Q2 dashboards, a messy migration, late night pager once a week.
  • Last month HR rolled out a "culture initiative", basically a spreadsheet of duties like birthday cupcakes, snack restock, welcome baskets, planning surprise parties, taking notes during meetings so managers can be more present, all that soft glue.
  • I didnt sign up, I was in a client call. Next day I get a ping, congrats, you are lead for quarter one morale, please pick a co lead.
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  • My name was already typed in bold, apparently someone said I have good vibes because I bring muffins sometimes.
  • Those muffins are from Costco and were for my team because we shipped a rough sprint, not a personality.
  • I replied, thanks but no, I was not asked and this is not my job class.
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  • a woman sits at her computer, holding a takeaway cup
  • HR wrote back, it is everyones job to build community, and we need women to lead because we listen better.
  • That made my skin crawl. I said again, will join events, I will not plan them.
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  • My manager said we should be team players, but also admitted my objectives are behind and he needs me on the migration.
  • Meanwhile people started forwarding me requests, like a dev asked if I can stock energy drinks with zero sugar, and a director told me to schedule a baby shower at 3 pm on sprint review day.
  • I stopped answering, and HR created a group chat called Morale with me as owner. I left the chat.
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  • Yesterday HR pulled me into a video call with a slide deck about how culture work is undervalued, which I agree, but that means you pay people or adjust load, not secretly assign women.
  • I said if they want an actual coordinator role, post it, I will even help write the req, but I am not free labor because I smile and print stickers straight.
  • Now Im getting side eyes, and someone said I killed the vibe, which is wild because our vibe lately is three outages and lukewarm pizza.
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  • My manager told me to write it up for HR formally, so I did, including the gendered comment.
  • HR is "disappointed" and says they will re evaluate the process, but a few coworkers think I made drama for nothing.
  • TLDR, company stuck me as unpaid morale lead without asking, with a gendered reason, I declined and documented it, people are salty.
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  • businesspeople dance in an office at night wearing party hats
  • People were on her side.

    Due_Cricket1885 Gross how they try to force shit on you
  • Joopaboop If anyone criticizes you for refusing to do the extra unpaid role, just email hr and let them know that whilst you have not volunteered, these people have made it clear that they are happy to do all this extra work for free. See what happens then. Ntj and I am really sorry that you are basically being assigned extra work due to your gender. Save all emails and texts in a separate non work email just in case.
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  • Medical-Potato5920 NTJ. Remind them that selecting you know the basis of your gender for this task is gender discrimination. Gender discrimination is not going to improve the culture at your workplace. Culture needs to be led from the top.
  • Dr_Spiders "HR wrote back, it is everyones job to build community, and we need women to lead because we listen better." The fact that HR put this in writing is wild.
  • Pizza_Machin3 NTJ what they're looking for is an office manager, which is a job position they can pay someone to do.
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  • Fool_In_Flow I'm in college and last week, my professional development class taught us this exact thing will happen to women if they aren't careful of it. My professor told us "the women will be busy planning the office party while the men are building their resumes. Don't let this happen to you!". I wish I could read this post to my class.
  • Informal-Builder 1298 NTJ Early in my career as a safety engineer, I was informed that under "other assigned duties" | was expected to take a turn answering the front desk. I pushed back, hard. I asked when the make engineers were expected to take their turn answering phones and signing visitors in and got the "uh, ummm, ok" response. I made it clear this was discrimination and they ultimately dropped it, but I was labeled the stuck up bitch for refusing. Oh well. Not my fault the other women ne
  • Adelucas NTJ and maybe start locking for another job
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  • Which Witch9402 The gendered comment is the real issue here. They're pushing all this work on the women.
  • Petite01Nbusty not the jerk here, u said no politely and even offered a solution, HR just wants free labor and some people can't handle someone standing up

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